7 Ways I’m Making Self-Care an Essential Part of My Day

^{Alt text: “Self Care” written in Scrabble tiles on a marble white surface. White and Pink flowers in top left and bottom right corner of image. Image sourced from: https://blogs.oncolink.org/2021/08/self-care-isnt-selfish/}

Four years ago, I wrote a blog inspired by the best-selling book Designing Your Life. I recently started thinking about one of the concepts in the book called Prototyping and the five mindsets inherent in thinking like a designer:

1. Be Curious
2. Try Stuff (Bias to Action)
3. Reframe Problems
4. Know it’s a Process (Awareness)
5. Ask for Help (Radical Collaboration)

I realize prototyping is what I’ve been doing as it relates to self-care. I’m trying a little of this, dabbling in a little of that. I’m figuring out what works best to make me feel my best. I’m not worrying if EVERYTHING sticks…I’m just trying stuff. I don’t care if I do things perfectly…I’m just doing things.

So, what have I been up to? Honestly, nothing earth shattering and nothing you haven’t heard before (how’s that for a grabber?!) But if you’re looking to up your self-care game like I am, and are open to hearing from a new voice on the subject, read on.

To level set, I am aware I have some luxuries that allow me to fit some of these practices into my day. I started working from home since Covid began in March 2020 and I still do, so I have no commuting time. This arrangement won’t last forever; but I also know I won’t be returning to my downtown office (I work at TD Bank) Monday to Friday and will continue to have some flexibility, which offers the best gift of all: Time. My 3 kids are old enough (15, 13, and 10) that they are independent in many ways: they get ready by themselves in the morning and take the bus home from school, allowing me to focus on my work during work hours vs. breaking for a school pick up and working later, for example. And I have the means and space for the tools that have become important on my self-care journey.

Naturally, some days self-care is easier than others. Some days I feel fantastic – others not so much. Still, I’m proud of my progress and the fact that I’m making this a priority. I’m looking forward to continuing on this prototyping path. In fact, one thing that’s not on my list below, but I want it to be: Getting fresh air every day!

In the meantime, here are a few items in my (evolving) self-care toolkit that may resonate with you or inspire action. You may notice a pattern that most of my tools are either directly or indirectly related to getting a good night’s sleep. I make no secret about the fact that sleep does not come naturally to me so I have to work very hard at it. Also, I’ve left food off the list. Not because it’s not a self-care tool. It is a VERY important one in fact. I have some routines (like morning smoothies and bulk prepping veggies on the weekend) but honestly, I feel like food needs its own blog post. So…ya.

Shall we get started, then?

1. Meditation

I’ve recently become a fan of Jay Shetty, former Monk and best-selling author and the host of the #1 health podcast in the world, On Purpose.

My husband, Asher, and I enjoy the 7-minute Daily Jay on the Calm app each morning. It’s a beautiful boost that sets a positive tone for the day.

I also listen to a Calm meditation to fall asleep. I enjoy the guided ones with soundscapes like waves in the background but I know many people prefer the calming sounds alone. I recently purchased a product called MindBand, a soft headband with built-in flat headphones. I highly recommend it! As a side note, I’m also proud that my 10-year-old son enjoys his nightly meditation soundscapes too.

2. The High 5 Habit

In one of Shetty’s podcast episodes, he interviews Mel Robbins, author of The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life With One Simple Habit. Mel talks about the science around giving yourself a high 5 in the mirror every morning. I’ve started doing this and I enjoy starting the day with a powerful “you got this” vibe. It’s hard to know exactly what impact it’s having but since it takes literally three seconds, this habit’s sticking around.

3. Movement

We purchased a treadmill about six months before Covid started and my husband purchased a Peloton bike around the same time, along with the monthly subscription. I didn’t discover the Peloton treadmill classes right away. In fact, I used to walk or run while watching Netflix – I consumed the entire Friends and Seinfeld series while accumulating steps. Of course, watching while walking is wonderful; but if I’m going to make it a priority to move, I want to challenge myself and I enjoy the push and motivation that an instructor provides. Not to mention the tunes that keep the moment exciting and high-energy (for more on my music tastes, see habit #6 below).

While I don’t do yoga nearly enough (once a week, sometimes not even), I always feel awesome after a Peloton yoga class. And very recently, I’ve tried some 5 and 10 minute stretching classes before bed. Overall, I’m trying to add more variety to my movement as I tend to stick with what I know. #Stubborn.

4. Morning Tea

Up until about a month ago, Asher or I would make a pot of coffee in the morning and each enjoy a cup or two throughout the morning. Especially in the winter, I would take in the warmth, the smell…and the taste of course. It was never about the caffeine for me. I know the benefits and drawbacks of coffee are hotly debated and I’m not even close to understanding which side has more points. But here’s the thing – no one argues about herbal tea. It’s unproblematic so I’m sold! Besides, if there’s even the slightest chance that coffee messes with my sleep routine (even without consuming any after noon), I’m more than happy to grind that habit to a halt.

5. Essential Oils

It’s only in the last week or so that I’ve added some soothing fragrances to my nighttime routine. Asher purchased a diffuser for me quite a few years ago but I sort of forgot about it. Now, I’ve dusted it off and it’s back on my night table. Currently I’m using “Unwind” by Saje. I know people use essential oils for all sorts of purposes and I’m certainly open to learning more.

6. Music

While I have no musical talents (I sing, but not well), fun, upbeat music from Broadway musicals, Disney, the 80s, and the 90s always gets me pumped and feeling good. I adore classics by Elton John, Whitney Houston, Carole King, and Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons (Oh What a Night is heavenly!) And I can never get enough of the soundtracks from The Big Chill and Dirty Dancing – and literally everything about these two movies truthfully. When I’m in a ridiculous mood in the morning, I’ll blast this silly song from the kids show, Bubble Guppies, called The Line Up Song. Think Baby Shark energy. Yes, I’m a goof and proud of it! And if you haven’t stumbled upon James Morrison’s Precious Love, it’s an awesome feel good tune. It was featured in Schitt’s Creek – a special self-care gem in its own league!

It’s such an easy thing to do – grab my phone and play something I’m in the mood for – and I should do it even more often than I do.

7. Consuming and creating content

Listening to Podcasts, watching inspiring videos, and reading all fill me up. Over six years ago, after returning from a women’s trip to Israel, I was reading and writing a lot. But then life got in the way and these practices slowly dwindled. Maybe it’s the light at the end of this dark Covid tunnel, maybe it’s my way of staying connected to my mom through writing…maybe it’s a hundred different things. But I’m excited to feel that spark again. Consuming content helps me grow, inspires me to be better and do better, and provides new and enriching perspectives and insights. Similarly, I feel a sense of deep satisfaction when I write. In fact, when I have an idea, I start writing it in my head and I simply have to get it out. Fellow writers (or all creators in fact!) – can you relate?

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Anything pique your interest? Will you be prototyping some self-care tips and tricks? I’d love to hear from you!

Thank you as always for reading, sharing, and commenting.

xo

Jori

Jay Shetty: The Bright Spark We Need Right Now

I wrote the words below on the evening of Saturday, March 19. When I woke up on Sunday, March 20, I listened to a daily meditation reminding me that today is the first day of Spring. How beautifully fitting, I thought, to share this piece on a day we often associate with fresh starts and renewal.

Of course, not all of us are in the mood for Spring – perhaps we don’t even know what we are in the mood for. Wherever we are, that’s okay. You’re here now and you are taking this time for yourself. And I carved out time to write – a craft I love that makes me feel good. One step at a time. We got this.

As always, thank you for reading and I’d love to hear your thoughts. xo

Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul.

– Luther Burbank, American botanist, horticulturist, and pioneer in agricultural science

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A couple of months ago I was introduced to the beautiful wisdom of Jay Shetty, former Monk, best-selling author of Think Like a Monk, and host of the #1 health podcast in the world, On Purpose.

While Jay is a relatively new name to me, he has been profiled by some of biggest stars and on the biggest platforms, including Oprah, Ellen, The Today Show, and more. Now that I have consumed some of his content, I can’t believe I’m only discovering him now. And if you haven’t had the pleasure of diving in yet, and you’re looking for tangible and actionable insights on topics ranging from procrastination to communication and everything in between, I suggest you take the leap.

Let’s be honest: The last two years have been an emotional rollercoaster for many of us. For different reasons. In different ways. And at different times. And just as the pandemic seems to be winding down and we can finally see the light at the end of the dark Covid tunnel, the news out of Ukraine is beyond devastating and our hearts continue to be heavy for new reasons. On top of this, there’s just regular life – filled with beautiful days, unbearable ones, and blah ones. In fact, languishing – the scientific term for blah – gained popularity in 2021 from Adam Grant’s viral New York Times article, which spotlights the “meh” feeling many of us have felt stuck in lately.

In fact, Grant has been a guest on the On Purpose podcast. He joins a long and impressive list including Will Smith, Jane Goodall, Alicia Keys, the late Kobe Bryant, and dozens more celebrities, doctors, researchers, and more. We’ve got a lot of listening to do!

If you’re anything like me, and you’re looking for something new, something special…a spark to add to your life…I can’t recommend Jay Shetty enough.  

Jay is not about being positive all the time – otherwise known as toxic positivity. That’s not healthy and that’s not my jam. He’s the real deal. Dare I say: This generation’s Oprah.

I’ve listened to about a dozen podcasts so far, watched a handful of his videos, I’m about halfway through his book, and about a month ago I started listening to his 7-minute Daily Jay feature on the Calm app each morning. Still, I’ve only just started to scratch the surface of the incredible, down-to-earth nuggets of wisdom he (and his podcast guests) have to offer. In fact, many of his teachings mirror those popular in Judaism.

Over the years, my mom often said to me: You have to read to write. She was an avid reader so I see where she was coming from (and she uttered these profound words decades before there were hundreds of other ways to consume content). That said, with wonderful podcasts like On Purpose available, I think she would be open to amending her declaration to the following: You have to read, listen, and/or watch to write.

Now, not only am I benefiting from Jay’s novel perspectives on age-old challenges and subjects; he has inspired me to write again. For that, I’m truly grateful.

So today, I’m making a commitment to myself – and to you, my friends and readers. I will write at least one blog a month. My pieces may be inspired by Jay directly…or by one of his guests. We’ll see where my journey takes me.

For now, I’ll start by highlighting a few On Purpose episodes that resonated with me. While I’m far from implementing all the suggestions included in each of them, I’m proud I’ve taken a few important steps:

• Making Time: I’ve made time to listen (while driving, folding laundry, cooking, cleaning)
• Absorbing: I’ve taken in the various nuggets of information (in fact, I’ve listened twice to some in order to take notes)
• Reflecting and Sharing: I’m writing and sharing this blog 🙂

Here are just a few podcasts you may want to start with. Or choose from his library of 300+ episodes.

10 Ways to Get Things Done Event When you Don’t Feel Like it (March 2, 2022)

Payal Kadakia On: Imposter Syndrome, Ambition, & How to Succeed While Staying True to Your Passion (Feb. 14, 2022)

8 Types of People You Need in Your Life in 2022 (Jan. 28, 2022)

Liz Plosser ON: How to Create a Morning Routine That Works For You (Dec. 6, 2021)

Mel Robbins ON: Why You Can’t Stop Procrastinating & How to Eliminate Self-Doubt in 5 Seconds (Oct. 4, 2021)

If you’re already a Jay fan, I’d love to hear from you – do you have some favourite episodes? If you decide to take the plunge, let’s stay in touch and share what we learn (Jay Shetty Podcast club anyone?!)

Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll join me on this journey. To receive my blogs when I post, please subscribe to my WordPress blog: myclaritymylight.wordpress.com.

Xo

Jori